First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
