You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
