you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
