i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
