dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
