She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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