my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
