google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
