Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
