Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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