Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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