She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize