I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am puke
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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