Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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