I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
