Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
