How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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