Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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