i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
