they need to just BURY HIM!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
