I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
