I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This is my gift to your gina
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
