Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
