There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize