the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
