we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
where are you?
Hypothermia
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
