Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
