Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I wear drunk well.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize