we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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