We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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