I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
