I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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