I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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