clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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