Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize