I'm really into asian looking animals
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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