do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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