I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
