I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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