well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
