So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
