If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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