Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
