I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
