When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
