Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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