my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im holly from the hills drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
