Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
