She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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