So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
