We won't sleep together?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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