so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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