Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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