I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
