Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My brain says no but my pants say off.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I want to be your penis for a week.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
