I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
