did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
