So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
