her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
