Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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