Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
