Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
