after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
