Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
