I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
