just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
