you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
