Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
