dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize