How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
