I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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