i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
