weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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