just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
