he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
