Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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