Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
