I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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