Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
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