oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The struggles of a small town man whore
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
