Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
