I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
