you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize